I mean... here's my secret, doc-- I've never gone into battles with the expectation that I'm going to win them. I mean, you can usually tell pretty early on what the odds are gonna be and so far I've never been in a position where things went shit-shaped. I fight for the thrill of it. There's nothing like a decisive battle to quicken the blood, you know?
If I end up dying, at least it'll be doing what I love, and hopefully I'll have taken one of my enemies down with me. Or have done enough damage that it's a moral victory.
[ If cognitive psience makes even the slightest positive difference in the world because of his work, then it could be considered a moral victory if he dies because of it.
........... is what he would think if he didn't have Akechi in his ear constantly telling him that any power, no matter how innocuous at first, ultimately goes rotten. To say nothing of what he and Eren have discussed.
Why he's turning to Dito at this juncture is a true mystery to Maruki. Maybe hearing from someone so violently different from him is a strange sort of relief. ]
I suppose I'm thinking of battles in a more metaphorical sense, but everything you've said about literal ones still applies. It's best to go into any adversarial situation without expectations of success. That's ego, and ego can get you killed quickly.
I'd assume, anyway.
You're very cavalier about your own death, though!
you wouldn't dare, you love the suffering too much
I defer to your expertise with the metaphorical battles. Honestly, those don't give me as much of a charge as defeating actual physical enemies.
And that's really the meat of it, y'know? Now that I'm out of my shit situation, I wanna die with as many scars on my corpse as possible. Better to live a short, well-lived life than a long one filled with regret, right?
We agree there, especially about action versus inaction. Perhaps it's on my mind more so lately than usual because of all of the talk on the network about what we can or cannot, should or should not do regarding "Vaeros." No matter what, in my opinion, doing something is better than doing nothing.
[ The gods hate a coward – a statement Maruki understands far better now than he would have the first time they spoke. ]
Can I ask what sort of gods you dealt with? If you already told me, please forgive my bad memory. I am an old man, after all.
Upon your doorstep/mailbox/table or whatever! However delivery in this world works. The details don’t matter.
Before you is a gift, chocolate, and a letter.
“Dear Dito,
My preparations are complete. All clear on my end. I’ve prayed for victory and will gladly put my life on the line for it. Whenever you are ready, make the first move and call for me.
I await your determination to have a fair one-on-one duel.
The challenge is baking
From, Hakuno Kishinami
P.S. It would make me happy if you accepted my gifts. ”
Despite how manly this “Challenge Letter” is, it’s not a challenge letter but an invitation to hang out. Hakuno Kishinami might have just psyched herself a bit too much. She might just end up embarrassing herself later down the road, so please just play along with her.
This was the first time she had ever given out chocolate, so she decided to make it memorable.
Hey, dickwad, you making something to eat tonight or did you want to see if there's anywhere interesting in that new town?
[ Casually insulting your boo-thang as a means of asking them out on a date? Surely not~? Surely Tomura has more class than that? Dito won't see through his derailing , right? ]
[Hey, sometimes couples have cutesy banter and sometimes they just outright shit-talk each other. It's only weird if you're not into it. Dito taps a finger against his lips, pretending to think carefully.]
Let's see... trek a long way through the blistering cold to find a place that might not even offer good food, or stay inside and risk getting bitched at by my ungrateful housemate because he can't handle the mildest of spices in the food I so graciously cook for him?
Hmm... tough choice. Can I just choose the third option and fall on my own spear?
[Much like a feral dog that's recently been domesticated, one has to listen closely to Dito's tone to understand there's no real menace behind his growls.]
[ Tomura raises a brown, mouth twisting into an expression of exacerbated irritation and annoyance as Dito carries on with his pantomiming. Finally sighing, crossing his arms over his chest before pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache already coming on. ]
Fine. Whatever, I'll eat anything but you're fuckin' healing my lips when the skin spits around them and sores form from... Unless that's why you insist on making everything so damn hot all the time? You sick fuck, I swear thats a form of Munchausen's by proxy but whatever~
[ Waving a hand about as he bites back, just as viciously, just as playfully. #
Thank you for giving me your permission to kiss you, my lord. I didn't realize it was such an unpleasant ordeal. It never occurred to me what sacrifices you endured to keep your little underling appeased.
[He punctuates this with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head, but once again, it's not as biting and acerbic as he could be.]
But sure, I'd be open to trying something new. As long as I can get something that ain't fish, that is. Should we head out now?
[ Goddam him and his healing lips! Honestly, Tomura can't even be mad at that comment, it's expected, it's Dito after all. His frown and sneer soon turn a little soft around the edges as he sighs and shakes his head. ]
Y'know, I was trying to do something nice for you but no~ If this is the way you're gonna poke at me for it, you can go fuck yourself.
[ Acting isn't Tomura's strong suit, so it should be painfully obvious he was playing. A rare thing indeed, but playing nonetheless. Arms folded like he's annoyed, head tipped up and tilted away from Dito, eyes closed lightly. ]
[Fortunately, Dito's used enough to Shigaraki's insults that he takes the remarks in the manner that they're meant-- huffing out an affectionate chuckle at his boss's bluster.]
Your fault for havin' such thin skin, my lord. Didn't realize you were so sensitive.
But you've managed to pique my curiosity for once. Might as well get a good look at the new town finally, since it's there an' all. You wanna lead or should I take point as usual?
[ ooc: backdated to after Dito finds out about AFO using Shigaraki's body! D: ]
Things were just starting to get back to normal (whatever "normal" for these two fuckheads was) since everything went to shit. Shigaraki's amnesia, Kurogiri being some fucking cheerful, wannabe hero, and whatever had had Dito acting a little more cautious around Shigaraki.
Bathing before bed, lying down with still damp hair, those blanched strands seemed to curl up at the ends, making his hair look wavier than usual. Slipping into bed in a pair of light grey joggers and a skin-tight black t-shirt, it wasn't like he was going to be cold or anything, what with Dito lying beside him and all.
It didn't take him long to fall asleep, surprisingly. He was exhausted and slipped into one of those deep sleeps, you know the kind, where you could be talking one second and lightly snoring the next. He was comfortable, at ease and felt safe. An arm draped around his little love, pulling them into him, subconsciously possessive.
Sleep did not come so easily to Dito this night, though he'd long since gotten used to Shigaraki reaching out to him. It was much different from the way that Five used to clutch at him in her sleep, more like a child grasping their favorite toy for subconscious comfort than any sort of hedonistic ownership, and damn if Dito could figure out why that didn't bother him as much.
This was not what was keeping him awake. The memories of what had transpired only a few days ago were foremost in his mind-- memories of the Shigaraki who was not Shigaraki; memories of the man Kurogiri had called All For One, who had somehow slipped into Shigaraki's body like someone slipping on a well-worn suit tailored perfectly for him. Had Shigaraki still been in there, fighting the entire time? Or had he been watching helplessly as his own body moved in ways that weren't of his control, in the same way Dito had been forced to watch the sword slip from his hands in his first attempt to murder Five?
The Disciple's stomach gave a sudden queasy lurch. He swallowed hard and fought to empty his mind, focusing instead on Shigaraki's softly closed eyes with the strangely white lashes; on the rhythmic ebb and flow of his breathing. Dito's hand was curled against the other man's chest, and he could feel the strong and steady beat of his heart beneath his shirt. Would he have been able to tell the difference between his employer's own heartbeat and that of All For One's?
Dito watched as his hand slowly splayed out against Shigaraki's chest. Almost as if it had a mind of its own, his hand began to travel down the length of the other man's torso, fingers tracing every curve and contour of muscle beneath the fabric. Shigaraki's time away had certainly brought some changes to his physique-- along with some injuries, though those had since been healed.
Dito's fingers traveled downward, past Shigaraki's chest to his taut abdominal muscles. He flicked his eyes up to the other man's face, sure that he would see those striking crimson eyes open and staring at him, but they remained closed. Strange, really-- Shigaraki had always been a light sleeper. Still, it was probably just as well. Dito would've been hard-pressed to explain why he was suddenly feeling up his employer while he was sleeping.
His tongue darted out to nervously lick his lips. His mouth had strangely become dry.
Shigaraki was blissfully unaware of what was to become of him back home. Kurogiri had never told him. Perhaps it was for the best, really? And he'd never asked as he'd never doubted his masters intentions. Still, if he had known that All For One was planning to take over his body and puppet him around, he might have had some complicated feelings... Much like if he knew that right now, Dito was quietly contemplating whether he could tell him apart from All For One, it would have upset him more than he could realise.
There was a flicker of his eyelids when Dito's fingers traced over his stomach, sensitive even in slumber. The muscles twitched and tightened up, a sigh of breath falling from his now parted lips, dry and pale looking as ever. A thigh tensed up, making his heel flick his foot out underneath the covers. Usually, just the slight movement on the bed beside him would have been enough for him to stir from his sleep, but he had since gotten used to the motions Dito made in bed; it was a comfort to him.
However, in saying all that, if Dito's hand strayed any lower than where it currently lay resting, something else might stir up in Shigaraki's unconscious body...
Pale as it was, Shigaraki's skin reflected the blue tint of Dito's latent healing powers, causing him to be bathed in an unnatural light. He'd since learned to control it to a certain extent; learned to ignore the nagging urge that came about whenever in close proximity to someone injured. But it was hard to ignore when the person in question was Shigaraki. For some reason, the pull to heal his employer's various hurts was too strong to ignore-- it was like trying to hold his breath for too long.
Or perhaps-- and Dito felt a bitter taste in the back of his throat as he thought this-- perhaps it was because he didn't want to ignore it.
He shunted that thought aside in favor of focusing on the body of the man before him. Dito watched with a vague satisfaction as the dryness eased once again from Shigaraki's skin, as it grew more supple and lost that sickly pale tint. His fingers briefly shrank away as the man twitched in his sleep, but he still did not awaken. A soft sigh fell from his mouth, as if even on an unconscious level he felt what Dito was doing to him, and Dito felt the corners of his own mouth turn upward.
He wasn't one for useless flights of fancy even in the best of times, but a part of him hoped that Shigaraki was dreaming a good dream at least.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
WHY AM I THE ONE CHRISTENING THIS??? text; un: doc0203
I've mulled over our conversation for a while now. It truly was intriguing.
I had a follow-up question: How far do you think willpower alone can take you when the battle you're facing is one you're all but guaranteed to lose?
M-Maruki-san be gentle a-ahn~
If I end up dying, at least it'll be doing what I love, and hopefully I'll have taken one of my enemies down with me. Or have done enough damage that it's a moral victory.
loads up the drops page and stares directly at u
[ If cognitive psience makes even the slightest positive difference in the world because of his work, then it could be considered a moral victory if he dies because of it.
........... is what he would think if he didn't have Akechi in his ear constantly telling him that any power, no matter how innocuous at first, ultimately goes rotten. To say nothing of what he and Eren have discussed.
Why he's turning to Dito at this juncture is a true mystery to Maruki. Maybe hearing from someone so violently different from him is a strange sort of relief. ]
I suppose I'm thinking of battles in a more metaphorical sense, but everything you've said about literal ones still applies. It's best to go into any adversarial situation without expectations of success. That's ego, and ego can get you killed quickly.
I'd assume, anyway.
You're very cavalier about your own death, though!
you wouldn't dare, you love the suffering too much
And that's really the meat of it, y'know? Now that I'm out of my shit situation, I wanna die with as many scars on my corpse as possible. Better to live a short, well-lived life than a long one filled with regret, right?
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Let me ask you a question, though - don't you think it's necessary to have some regrets?
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Action versus inaction, know what I mean? I'd rather make an error in my choices than not make any choices at all. The gods hate a coward.
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[ The gods hate a coward – a statement Maruki understands far better now than he would have the first time they spoke. ]
Can I ask what sort of gods you dealt with? If you already told me, please forgive my bad memory. I am an old man, after all.
this is me making shit up about canon because Yoko Taro can't be bothered lalalala
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UN: mooncancer | Text
╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭ why don't I see your stupid ass anywhere? I keep trying to find you so I can give you the spook.
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If we had sex BB would probably just cry and want to die
"( – ⌓ – ) anyway, glad to hear you're alive, what are you even up to anyway?
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And why d'you want to know? So you can pretend like you're interested?
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Whatchu mean? BB is obsessed with everyone here, even a squick like you.
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And why the hell else would anyone have sex? For romance? If you're trying to make yourself not sound like a virgin, you're doing it wrong.
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HOW DID I MISS THIS
PROBABLY THE SAME WAY I ALSO MISSED THIS
YOU & ME: FUCK
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cw: gore implied
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12/25 gift delivery!!
Letter: Squick ]
2/14 Valentine Delivery
Before you is a gift, chocolate, and a letter.
“Dear Dito,
My preparations are complete. All clear on my end.
I’ve prayed for victory and will gladly put my life on the line for it.
Whenever you are ready, make the first move and call for me.
I await your determination to have a fair one-on-one duel.
The challenge is baking
From,
Hakuno Kishinami
P.S. It would make me happy if you accepted my gifts. ”
Despite how manly this “Challenge Letter” is, it’s not a challenge letter but an invitation to hang out. Hakuno Kishinami might have just psyched herself a bit too much. She might just end up embarrassing herself later down the road, so please just play along with her.
This was the first time she had ever given out chocolate, so she decided to make it memorable.
Despite how over the top this might be.
[ Dito received mouthwash & a single Snicker bar. ]
back dated to 2/14 action!
[ Casually insulting your boo-thang as a means of asking them out on a date? Surely not~? Surely Tomura has more class than that? Dito won't see through his derailing , right? ]
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Let's see... trek a long way through the blistering cold to find a place that might not even offer good food, or stay inside and risk getting bitched at by my ungrateful housemate because he can't handle the mildest of spices in the food I so graciously cook for him?
Hmm... tough choice. Can I just choose the third option and fall on my own spear?
[Much like a feral dog that's recently been domesticated, one has to listen closely to Dito's tone to understand there's no real menace behind his growls.]
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Fine. Whatever, I'll eat anything but you're fuckin' healing my lips when the skin spits around them and sores form from... Unless that's why you insist on making everything so damn hot all the time? You sick fuck, I swear thats a form of Munchausen's by proxy but whatever~
[ Waving a hand about as he bites back, just as viciously, just as playfully. #
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Thank you for giving me your permission to kiss you, my lord. I didn't realize it was such an unpleasant ordeal. It never occurred to me what sacrifices you endured to keep your little underling appeased.
[He punctuates this with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head, but once again, it's not as biting and acerbic as he could be.]
But sure, I'd be open to trying something new. As long as I can get something that ain't fish, that is. Should we head out now?
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Y'know, I was trying to do something nice for you but no~ If this is the way you're gonna poke at me for it, you can go fuck yourself.
[ Acting isn't Tomura's strong suit, so it should be painfully obvious he was playing. A rare thing indeed, but playing nonetheless. Arms folded like he's annoyed, head tipped up and tilted away from Dito, eyes closed lightly. ]
No fish. I promise.
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Your fault for havin' such thin skin, my lord. Didn't realize you were so sensitive.
But you've managed to pique my curiosity for once. Might as well get a good look at the new town finally, since it's there an' all. You wanna lead or should I take point as usual?
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NSFW Slipping on in here like nobodies business~
Things were just starting to get back to normal (whatever "normal" for these two fuckheads was) since everything went to shit. Shigaraki's amnesia, Kurogiri being some fucking cheerful, wannabe hero, and whatever had had Dito acting a little more cautious around Shigaraki.
Bathing before bed, lying down with still damp hair, those blanched strands seemed to curl up at the ends, making his hair look wavier than usual. Slipping into bed in a pair of light grey joggers and a skin-tight black t-shirt, it wasn't like he was going to be cold or anything, what with Dito lying beside him and all.
It didn't take him long to fall asleep, surprisingly. He was exhausted and slipped into one of those deep sleeps, you know the kind, where you could be talking one second and lightly snoring the next. He was comfortable, at ease and felt safe. An arm draped around his little love, pulling them into him, subconsciously possessive.
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This was not what was keeping him awake. The memories of what had transpired only a few days ago were foremost in his mind-- memories of the Shigaraki who was not Shigaraki; memories of the man Kurogiri had called All For One, who had somehow slipped into Shigaraki's body like someone slipping on a well-worn suit tailored perfectly for him. Had Shigaraki still been in there, fighting the entire time? Or had he been watching helplessly as his own body moved in ways that weren't of his control, in the same way Dito had been forced to watch the sword slip from his hands in his first attempt to murder Five?
The Disciple's stomach gave a sudden queasy lurch. He swallowed hard and fought to empty his mind, focusing instead on Shigaraki's softly closed eyes with the strangely white lashes; on the rhythmic ebb and flow of his breathing. Dito's hand was curled against the other man's chest, and he could feel the strong and steady beat of his heart beneath his shirt. Would he have been able to tell the difference between his employer's own heartbeat and that of All For One's?
Dito watched as his hand slowly splayed out against Shigaraki's chest. Almost as if it had a mind of its own, his hand began to travel down the length of the other man's torso, fingers tracing every curve and contour of muscle beneath the fabric. Shigaraki's time away had certainly brought some changes to his physique-- along with some injuries, though those had since been healed.
Dito's fingers traveled downward, past Shigaraki's chest to his taut abdominal muscles. He flicked his eyes up to the other man's face, sure that he would see those striking crimson eyes open and staring at him, but they remained closed. Strange, really-- Shigaraki had always been a light sleeper. Still, it was probably just as well. Dito would've been hard-pressed to explain why he was suddenly feeling up his employer while he was sleeping.
His tongue darted out to nervously lick his lips. His mouth had strangely become dry.
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There was a flicker of his eyelids when Dito's fingers traced over his stomach, sensitive even in slumber. The muscles twitched and tightened up, a sigh of breath falling from his now parted lips, dry and pale looking as ever. A thigh tensed up, making his heel flick his foot out underneath the covers. Usually, just the slight movement on the bed beside him would have been enough for him to stir from his sleep, but he had since gotten used to the motions Dito made in bed; it was a comfort to him.
However, in saying all that, if Dito's hand strayed any lower than where it currently lay resting, something else might stir up in Shigaraki's unconscious body...
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Or perhaps-- and Dito felt a bitter taste in the back of his throat as he thought this-- perhaps it was because he didn't want to ignore it.
He shunted that thought aside in favor of focusing on the body of the man before him. Dito watched with a vague satisfaction as the dryness eased once again from Shigaraki's skin, as it grew more supple and lost that sickly pale tint. His fingers briefly shrank away as the man twitched in his sleep, but he still did not awaken. A soft sigh fell from his mouth, as if even on an unconscious level he felt what Dito was doing to him, and Dito felt the corners of his own mouth turn upward.
He wasn't one for useless flights of fancy even in the best of times, but a part of him hoped that Shigaraki was dreaming a good dream at least.