[Hey, sometimes couples have cutesy banter and sometimes they just outright shit-talk each other. It's only weird if you're not into it. Dito taps a finger against his lips, pretending to think carefully.]

Let's see... trek a long way through the blistering cold to find a place that might not even offer good food, or stay inside and risk getting bitched at by my ungrateful housemate because he can't handle the mildest of spices in the food I so graciously cook for him?

Hmm... tough choice. Can I just choose the third option and fall on my own spear?

[Much like a feral dog that's recently been domesticated, one has to listen closely to Dito's tone to understand there's no real menace behind his growls.]